I’ve had women express a willingness to do it, but also a fear bilskrot Uddevalla that they don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t know how to send the right message or what approach is most effective. Just like with men, only a minority of women are outgoing and confident enough to open a stranger.
38Susan Walsh October 6, 2011 at 9:03 am
“We might need to pass out large inflatable mallets.”
Aren’t those called boobs? I’ve always gotten the message if I get hit with one of those.
Hahaha!
I don’t buy the “I don’t want to look like a slut” explanation, because when a guy is super hot or high status women will approach him in packs, bang him in the bar bathroom and brag about it to her friends.
This is an AWALT remark. HUS readers ANLT for the most part.
39Susan Walsh October 6, 2011 at 9:04 am
@Wayfinder
Past societies used to have elaborate social rituals to get people introduced and talking. We’re a very disconnected society in a lot of ways, including this one. I suspect that this fear of starting a conversation is keeping many girls from meeting men who aren’t super-aggressively forward.
Agreed. I think subtle flirting is a lost art.
40Bb October 6, 2011 at 9:12 am
“I really like much of Andrew’s advice, but I strongly disagree with his (and Bb’s) logic that a woman who approaches a man is sacrificing information about his interest – in other words, not making him “prove” himself enough.”
Badger, that’s Andrew’s position, not mine. (I had a personal preference for men to make “the first move”, but that was related to an SMP of yore and was not just based on initial approach.)
In fact, I issued a Fall Challenge for Women, where I said:
I’m ready to rethink the first move filter. Based on the comment stream at useless superpower, it’s clear there are a lot of guys out there who are open and amenable to a woman approaching and/or asking them out.
If I were single in this SMP and looking to get a boyfriend…I’d take that ball and run with it. In fact, I’d try it for 3-6 months exclusively and see how’d it work: I’d ask out (or actively approach) any guy that I found remotely attractive.